Enough proper spaghetti (not hoops or alphabet)
A cooker with at least 2 hobs.
250g smoked bacon lardons
a whole pearl garlic (single clove garlic)
a whole fresh chilli
parmigiano-reggiano (parmasan cheese)
fresh parsley from your garden or the neighbours. (mere details)
Simmer the spaghetti in a pastapan until al dente, everyone knows how long to cook spaghetti.
If you don’t know how to boil water, well what you do is, fill a large saucepan with water, heat up until you see lots of bubbles and it kinda spits and hisses a bit when it escapes from the pan. To simmer, simply turn the heat down until it stops spitting and bubbles gently. Got it?
Cook the bacon in the wok a bit, drain excess fat.
At this point, cats become mildly interested.
Don’t put oil or fat down the sink. Ever.
Or the toilet. It solidifies and blocks the drain.
Sorry to mention toilets in a food recipe….!
Chop the chilli & garlic then add to the bacon.
Don’t go for a pee unless you have savagely scrubbed your fingers. Toilet again….sorry!
Beat the 2 eggs & mix in a couple of teaspoons of parmasan.
Chop or shred the parsley. Leaves only, no thick stems.
Drain the spaghetti and add to the bacon, chilli & garlic.
Turn heat off.
Add egg & parmasan and fold in gently then add the parsley.
Season slightly with black pepper but not salt.
Add Indonesian sambal or Pad Thai sauce (Phat Thai if you want to be a smart arse), some more shaved parmasan or whatever you want.
The snobs amongst you might cry foul about adding hot eastern spicy sauce to an Italian meal.
Tough. Lighten up. There are no rules in cooking.
Infact try adding parmasan with ketjap manis over it. It’s a massive flavour bomb.
Halve the cucumber, save the other half of cucumber, put in a sandwich bag, seal it and pop it in the fridge
Halve again lengthways, slice into long thin pieces.
The cucumber has a sort of cooling effect.